(附中文) Imagine that after 10 years, how will you describe your life in the 10 years? In the leadership class, we read the 10-year and 20-year memoirs from alumni, and most of them have some dissatisfaction, regret and frustration to a certain level. When writing my memoir, I felt quite shocked that how little I paid attention to the most important question in my life: “what kind of life do I want?” Here share my thoughts on how to think about this question.
【Define Success】Before evaluating the success of our lives, we need to define the success of lives. The most important thing is to separate “controllable” and “uncontrollable”, and avoid to put the uncontrollable into our definitions. For example, we cannot control if we get specific positions, but we can control the efforts we put in; we cannot control if our significant others will die early, but we can control how we appreciate the marriage. In general, the process is controllable, and the result is uncontrollable. Hence, with the right attitude, we won’t feel that our lives fail when the unexpected happen; instead, we will focus on how to live a good life after accidents and evaluate our success based on that.
【Set Criteria】The world often forces us to accept its value system, but actually we might value other things. This conflict leads to our dissatisfaction and confusion. However, if we only have one life and need to take full responsibility of it, then why not be honest to ourselves? For example, people tell us that at work, what you do is more important than the brand name, but actually the prestige of companies is an important source of sense of security for me. Then I would say: just do it! We might feel hurt or confused along the way, but we can always change our criteria as needed. Only if we experience the process of try, frustration and adjustment, we can find the best set of criteria to evaluate our lives.
【Make Decision】After defining the success of lives and setting criteria, we can make decisions based on it. There are lots of good opportunities to make us confused, and lots of outstanding peers to make us stressed. However, usually when we review our definitions and criteria, we will find out that most of them are irrelevant to us. Always remember that you are the superstar on the unique journey. Do whatever you want and enjoy your meaningful life!
So now, how will you write your 10-year memoir?